6 Kinda Weird Confessions of an Introvert

6 Kinda Weird Confessions of an Introvert

18.10.17

I'm Robyn. And I'm an introvert.

Now, if we previously crossed paths at school or college (hello darkness my old friend... jokes. Hi old pals) or you're my mum (hiya Debs, look at you go on your tablet) this won't be a shocker. But if you're just passing through my blog, follow me on social media, or we met within the past few years, this might be a bit more surprising.

WHAT I'M WEARING

Stating the obvious here, but extroversion and introversion are central to personality theory. And there are a million (and one) shoddy tests you can take to 'determine' which side of the scale you sit. For example, see this Buzzfeed here. Now tell me the inclusion of an image of Bart Simpson doesn't make you feel that this quiz 100% trustworthy?



Despite what some of these tests might tell you, intro vs extro is actually more of a spectrum than two totally polarised personalities. Ambiverts are actually a thing apparently - these are people that show both introvert and extrovert qualities. Proving it's not just two camps of personality types. So, actually, I'd say I probably sit comfortably in the 'introvert' party, but close-ish to 'ambivert' club. Anyway, my poor punt at a very dull psychology lesson is done!

It seems, oddly, it's not uncommon for us blogging folk to be less extroverted (my theory on that observation to come. I know - I should write a paper for Shit Psychology Theories). So I thought some truths about my experience of being an introvert might resonate with some of you, or perhaps let people at the other side of the personality spectrum to get an insight into us intro-folk. So here goes.

I don't 'look' introverted. And it can confuse people.

Let's be frank. I've been known to wear some kinda bold clothing, have fillers in my face (which are hopefully relatively natural! But still put me out there for being judged) and sometimes like to slap on a lot of makeup. Not to be stereotypical here... but I do feel all those things are probably more associated with extroversion. So sometimes it must be a bit confusing to discover I'm very chilled and more like an 80 year-old than 20-something.

Although, apparently I have got a classic introvert face. Which, may I add, looks a LOT like chronic bitch face. Excellent.

I genuinely have a need to be on my own.

Not all the time, but I'd say at least a third of my life. If possible. It's genuinely quite a challenge to achieve a good amount of alone time to help me feel re-vamped. Work can be really exhausting - especially in a big company, and in a role where you have to talk to lots of people. It can sap my sense of self. So when I have my own time, I love snuggling on the sofa, binging on Netflix - alone.

It doesn't mean I'm not confident.

Segueing nicely on from the above...

It can take big lady balls to do things on your own. Admitting that you spent your Friday AND Saturday night alone and loved every second to an extrovert leaves you a little open to being deemed a boring shit. No matter how much you enjoyed it.

And eating at Pizza Express alone for lunch - because a) you don't really care what people think, b) pizza is fucking ace and c) it's a fiver - might seem weird to some people too. But imma do what I like (and have a good browse through Insta while I'm scoffing a ha-uuuge pizza).

Oh and posting photos of your big ol' face and blabbing about your life online might seem like the most extrovert thing to do. It defo takes some balls. But my theory is that it gives me time to zone out and focus on creating something alone, which I love.

I kinda feel that extroversion is more 'normalised' and more valued.

Controversial?! But through the past few years of my life, I've really felt this. I'm thinking uni, work or blogging.

Confident public speaking, cracking small talk and being full of beans (not the baked kind, the metaphorical kind) - all true extrovert traits, all (arguably) requirements for success in uni and work without a doubt. All things I am a bit shit at. And things that are quite often measures of success or worth. Although having said that, making awesome lol-worthy small talk about your pals penchant for cold meatballs out of a tin ain't going to get you a first in a module on twentieth century feminism, is it?

I've learnt to flex my introversion with age

Given those 'professional' success measures that seem to come ore naturally to extroverts, I've had to learn to flex my introversion over the years.

My small talk still is well and truly sub-par. But I've spoken in front of big groups of people (and in the process, v almost cacked my pants) and always try to make sure I'm actually showing my happiness or enthusiasm on the outside.

I totally believe developing these kinds of abilities that come less naturally to you can only come with  practise - and therefore with age. It takes time. So if these are things you struggle with right now, just keep at it!

I actually love me a dose of extrovert

Hanging around lots of other introverts would just be... boring. Hear me out:

1. I don't enjoy my own company that much. I can be boring (let's flash back to watching Netflix for 4hrs straight alone. Yeah. Dull.)
2. Extroverts know how to have fun, and when I want to have fun, I want to have F.U.N.
3. To flex your introversion, you need to understand extroversion and interact with it. You can learn a lot from people who are your 'opposite' personality type. Seriously!

Let me know how many extroverts, introverts or ambiverts (makes me think of amphibians. But I'm 99% sure you're not a frog or toad.) I've got reading this!