In Response to Being 'Old For My Age': 8 Embarrassing Things I Do At Twenty-Five

In Response to Being 'Old For My Age': 8 Embarrassing Things I Do At Twenty-Five

16.7.17

"You're old for your age!": a phrase I seem to hear every time my quarter-life-status is thrown into conversation (by this, I mean I'm twenty-five, by the way). It's also a phrase that barely even makes sense... old for your age...? Huh??? Personally, I'm not convinced I come across older than I actually am, but maybe that's because I know that I wave at my dog and sniff my clothes (more on this to follow, don't you fear). So, just to show that I'm definitely not old for my age, I thought I'd share some pretty embarrassing things I do, aged twenty-five. Enjoy.

What I'm Wearing

Satin Hawaiian Shirt from H&M

Star Print Jeans alternatives at ASOS

Western Belt from ASOS

Sunglasses from Coach

Pearl Mules from H&M

1. Own an array of horrid 'pyjamas'

Despite being excited by almost any piece of fabric that comes from ASOS, I'll admit, I really DGAF about pyjamas.

Bed = comfort. More than happy to contort my big toe into the bizarrely slender point of a snazzy boot. But I don't want any lacy bits chaffing my butt cheeks in the night, thanks very much. And I'm certainly not keen to experience middle-of-the-night wedgies from some cute little shorts.

My 'pyjama' situation is basically an array of old baggy t-shirts and £5 joggers from Primarni. I also wear the joggers out the house all too often - shock, horror. I know.

I own one actual set of pyjamas. The only reason I have them is that they're actuallysemi-suitable for other people to see me in. They strictly only come out for those ocassions.

2. Wave at my dog and talk to him like he's my child

The first of two dog-related embarrassing things (skip to no. 5 for the other one, fellow dog fans). I talk to Bowie in a strange voice, and call him multiple (odd) names like Bow Bow, Bee Bee, Scuttle Bug, Moomee, Chicky Boo and Chucky Egg (... erm, in retrospect I guess this might be confusing for the poor bugger).

And yes, I wave at him. So, if he's sat across the sofa from me and I can't be arsed to move to stroke him, I'll just give him a little wave. I'm 99% sure he'd wave back if he could.

3. Sniff my clothes.

A classic - let's be honest, we've all done it. Yep, I sniff test.

Now, let's set some boundaries here. Tops, pants, socks are definite one-wear-wonders (I know some people double-wear tops, but I'm a sweaty mess unless constantly aircon-ed). But when you're thinking of re-wearing a jumper, hoodie, or some jeans? You've GOT to sniff test.

I'm a serial jeans re-wearer - I can't be dealing with all the lunging and shortness of breath resulting from squeezing myself into freshly washed denim. So a little skim past the old schnozzle is essential before donning them.

I've never been ultra 'feminine', as I've written about before, so if you happened to be round my house as I'm dashing to get ready, you might actually see this in action. Lucky you.

4. Have a teddy bear

And I'm TWENTY-FIVE. The most embarrassing part to this is that I got it for my 18th birthday. Lol.

I've always been an affectionate little human. I love a cuddle, and I'm sometimes aware that if I over-cuddle Bowie, his eyes could pop out of his little head. Poor thing. And cuddles with my boyfriend regularly result in him squirming away, complaining I'm clammy (- fair. I am).

So I think it's best for all of us that I have an inanimate object to snuggle sometimes.

5. Race my dog up the stairs like I'm 7 years old

Bowie follows me around like a little sheep all the time (aww!), so whenever I go upstairs we end up racing each other to the top. He wins every time.

Let's be fair, he has got the advantage of having two additional legs to my petite lower-limbs. And despite his little trotters resembling chicken drumsticks, they move bloody quick.

6. Squeeze my spots

Now, can I just ask, who DOESN'T SQUEEZE SPOTS?! I squeeze.

I over-squeeze.

I remember reading all those 'spot tips' in mags about leaving them... but have never been able to.

If you can leave those pimples alone, you've got super powers, I swear.

7. Lose or misplace important shit

It has been said (... a lot) that I'm a pro at misplacing or losing things.

At one point, I would lose a debit or credit card every other week. I probably have my own dedicated replacement-card-making-machine at Natwest HQ. Sorry 'bout all the wasted plastic.

Turns out it becomes annoying to other people if you can never pay for anything yourself... 🙃 

8. Scrapping grown-up life things for immediate gratification

"Ohhh... look at that bag. It's 40% off in the sale. It was £700... that's SUCH a bargain. Hmm, I guess that's almost the same price as dining chairs would be. You know what, I'll just carry on eating tea sat on my sofa. Yeah, I'll do that."
 💸💸💸

If this sounds like you, please call 0800-I-NEED-TO-UNDERSTAND-HOW-TO-ADULT today.

Need I say more on that one...?


So, I've aired a bit of my dirty laundry that I sniff immaturity on the net for your enjoyment. And I'll admit, it was fun for me too to have a chuckle at my strange-self. I think the above would maybe put me at about twelve years old... yeah? Well, maybe with the supposedly 'old' things I do (you know, knitting... getting a blue rinse... collecting my pension from the post office) that brings me back to my rightful age of twenty-five!?